Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
