i dedicated my morning wood to you.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
