Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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