I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
