I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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