North Korea, Best Korea!
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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