office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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