apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
