So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
two words: eviction party
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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