I wanna passion pit in your ass
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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