Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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