So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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