I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
