isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
