why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You ate ashes out of my bong
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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