If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
