Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
