I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
just tell him i said nine months
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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