i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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