it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
It's just like the Real World with babies
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
