Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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