This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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