She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
