If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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