so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
