We're facebook friends in real life
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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