Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
