I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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