But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
