don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
