Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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