she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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