I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
you will always have a special place in my vag
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
