she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
