All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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