I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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