Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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