Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize