in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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