he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
