i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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