so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Just took my morning after pill in the library
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
