my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Randomize
