Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
