The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I smell like Dick and happiness
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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