she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
