I puked a lego.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
no more duck duck goose at the bar
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
