I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
