Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
