he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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