Midget sex pt 2 tonight
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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