I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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