Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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