If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
