It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
