your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
