I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
