College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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