So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
