they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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