dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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