dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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