Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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