I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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