yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It's official drugs can't kill me
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
