so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
