do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize