there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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